8th October - bad day

today is quite a bad day for me!! erm..can say not only me, is over-slept day for many people, the thing you can't believe is in my class, there are 5 person (eric, benedict, emily, banana, joanne) over-slept and didn't come for presentation and i don't know why. One of my best friend, eirc, he didnt come for presentation and almost absent for the writing for PR progress test, i'm calling him non stop from 8 something morning till 11 something, until i really worried about him and try to be brave and phone her mum. it's really nervous while calling her mum because i'm afraid that her mum was sleeping and will "F" me up....but ultimately, the phone still reached to eric, the funniest part is he didnt even realized that he was absented for his presentation and late for her exam until i mentioned. But luckily he still come in the end.

the second one i called was benedict, when he picked up and he didnt even recognized my voice at all and he asked "who are you".....when i mentioned my name and he still sound blur, he still need to take some time to recall who is "GINA" ...Oh my god..is really a sad thing to me....my friend forget my name!!!!!.....................

but this is just the "appetizer" for me today, morning session, once reach noon, my mood turned totally. while im waiting for my next class at 2p.m for my spoken 2, i chat with “someone" in canteen. I have stay in penang for 2 years, and only today i feel that im talking to a person who knows me well...........because most of my friends, they have a happy family, their family will do everything for them. they always wish the holiday comes faster, because they can back their hometown to meet their lovely family but for me who can i meet?? i just meet 4 of the wall in my house......WHO KNOWS???

today, i only knew that "someone" has lost her family since 4 years ago. Her family passed away in 2004 of tsunami, i'm really feel sorry about that. Before today, we chat but less and today we like telling everything to each other. She said she always feel lonely because without family with her. It's just like me, although i have family but i dont ever have the feeling of Home. What is "Home". it is a totally strange word for me. My parents divorced since 12 years ago, and i didnt meet my dad for 12 years and i didnt meet my mum for 5 years. My mum leave us to USA because of work. Every of my friend told me that i have to understand my mum because she earn for us, but the problem is not the money, is even she is in Malaysia and she didnt really care about us, she has her own friends and she hang out with them and just leave us alone at home. Is this called RESPONSIBILITY for a MUM??? In her perception, she thought money is everything, as long as she give us money, she pay for our food, school fees, then she already done her job. WHAT IS THAT??? i dont need that, i need caring please, i need your understanding...... Tony Lim and Alice Ooi, you be my parent for 20 years, do you know me?? do you know what i really want, what i really think? you know nothing and just know how to blame each other for not taking care of us. What for?? blame is just let us judge who is the best between both of you.

Sometime i really dont understand is why my friends parents can treat me better than you all do.... this is what i always dont understand about....I'm really tiring this kind of family, besides of money, i dont even need you all... even i met any difficulty, you all cant even help me. HEY!! im just a 20 years old girl, what you all expect me to do, a perfect girl like what 50 years old woman does? please la, give me some childhood life ok..... i need that.......

this is the last bad thing i had today, i scolded by my lecturer in spoken 2 because we put script on the table when we presenting even though we didnt read it... everyone doing the same thing and i dont know why we just the one group who scolded by her, some more she said us cheat...this is the thing that i cant accepted. we prepare ok, some more prepare for 2 weeks d, but you just using that "CHEAT" to represent us that we are not prepare at all.........OK! fine, its past..... anyway, LET BYGONES BE BYGONES..........

anyway is time to stop because its really a long story for me to tell if i really want to write everything out........ but i really hope everything will going fine soon.....